The Gift of Listening
Listen with the Intent to Understand
An excerpt from Mindfulness Valley: “Listening is the practice of giving your full attention to someone else, understanding their perspective, and responding with empathy and care. It involves being present, suspending judgment, and valuing the speaker’s experience. By cultivating the gift of listening, you can enhance your relationships, build trust, and create a more supportive and fulfilling life. The gift of listening begins with self-awareness. Take time to reflect on how you engage in conversations. Notice when you interrupt, plan your response instead of listening, or become distracted. This awareness helps you to identify areas for improvement and to become a better listener.”
A Personal Testimony of Too Much Noise
By Dr. Crystal Abitz, Originally published 2021
So much noise. Outside. Inside. All around.
I try to listen. I try to focus. Nothing. There is an overwhelming amount of noise, but nothing worth processing. All I hear is noise. I’m lost in our conversation; I don’t hear you. I can’t even hear myself.
That’s where it started. The time had come to face the depression and anxiety that I let consume me for the past few years. In this moment, I realized I simultaneously had everything and nothing. I realized it was time to reconnect with my natural self, the self I was born to be. I realized it was time to find awareness in my breath and in my body. It was time to be present, to be me. If not for myself, then for my husband and our children. Click here for more information on Breathwork.
Postpartum depression and anxiety defined me. Instead of admitting I was suffering, I had become fully immersed and consumed by these conditions. I let the labels define me. My identity shifted and my personality vanished. I lost my spunk and zest for life.
Our daughter was two and our son was an infant. Our little family was struggling. My husband was burned out from his job, we had no family nearby, and our little ones deserved more energy than what I could find within myself. They needed a mom who wanted to live and who shared their enthusiasm for life. My husband needed me, our children need me, and I needed me.
The time had finally come for me to reclaim my identity, my life. Even while mentally and emotionally lost in the vortex, unable to hear my husband and children, I could feel them. My family was yearning for me— the me I used to be. It was time to unearth myself. It was time to emerge from the darkness and live my life on purpose. This is my gift to them. Scroll down to continue reading how my baby boy saved my life.
I was numb. I couldn’t do life. But one day, something happened. My baby boy held eye contact with me in such a powerful way that my trance broke. I broke. I ugly cried— cried until I started shaking. I felt something. It was so surreal. One of the most powerful, transformative moments of my existence came to me through eye contact with my tiny human. A human who depended on me for survival. And in that moment, I decided it was my time to reinvest in myself and my quality of life.
I was ready to give more of myself to my children and my husband. I slowly began investing in my self-care. Through a variety of massage, mindfulness, and movement therapies, I rediscovered myself and reconnected with my essential nature.
“As humans, we listen and experience life with more than our ears. Being present, listening, and feeling is an art and a way of life.”
And then one day, a few months later, I giggled with my kiddos while we watched a silly squirrel. Our interactions with each other and that squirrel helped me realize my purpose is in my family. I am happy. I am resilient. I still experience bouts of depression and anxiety, but now I have coping strategies to help me redirect my attention to the beauty around me. I made intentional changes for myself, for my husband, and for our children. Our family is thriving. We are playful, free-spirited, and connected with nature.
When stressors come our way, we look to each other for support, for strength. We smile, we hug, we dance. We sing silly songs and move our bodies in ways that give us strength, courage, and confidence to fully live and experience life.
Being present allows us to hear. We listen. We feel. We experience. Take a moment. Listen with your body. Turn off your brain. Toss aside the wish-lists and task lists. Just listen.
What is your body telling you? What is your partner or children telling you— not with their words, but with their eyes and their bodies? Do they feel nurtured and loved? Do they feel as important as your lists?
Gift yourself with the art of listening. And then listen— to your mind, your body, and your loved ones. Our children and clients don’t need tangible gifts— they need moms, dads, and care providers who are present with them. Allow yourself to flourish within, and then gift yourself and others the whole you.
Connecting to Your Private Practice
Imagine how your clients feel when you are not fully present with them during their healing sessions. As vital as it is for us to be present with our loved ones, we owe our clients the service of being fully present with them as well. Here are some tips to help your clients feel heard:
Conduct a thorough intake before your sessions
Personalize each session by adjusting the aromas, music selection, music volume, temperature, and anything else that could create a more personalized ambiance or healing environment
Address the specific pain points or areas of discomfort your client mentioned during the intake
Provide your clients with a session recap, highlighting anything significant
Need more tips on how you can connect with your clients through more engaged listening? Check out our self-paced online courses where you can learn more on how to be more intentional with your private practice.
Invest in yourself and your massage therapy practice by learning from the best! We offer the following ways to learn from Dr. Abitz:
1-on-1 Private Training
Zoom calls
In-person CE classes
You can connect with her by phone, email, or Facebook @legacywellnessmi